Motto (Serenity Prayer): God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
As I enjoy a few moments of peace and solitude (as usually, flu comes with bad and good parts…), I just felt like writing something at Christmas time.
I am less than a day apart from jumping into this year’s Christmas holiday, which will be full of hugs & kisses, smells & tastes, stories & plans, and then… next group of hugs & kisses, smells & tastes, stories & plans... I will join friends and family, sharing with them some special days. Then we will all go back to day-to-day working and regular living.
Today I found myself thinking of those people who will not get warm family reunions this year. Some have no family to go to. For other the distance is too big. And some would rather hideaway on this holiday. On this latest category, I believe everyone has all the right reasons for hiding. Some are too tired, some are longing for quality time away from ‘crowds’, some just do not feel like sharing their unhappiness this year. They are tired of the smiling, of the questions and of the wishes (mostly the same each year). Some are afraid that they will have nothing new to share. Some are not willing to hide their discontent in this period and reckon it’s better to just pull back and hide for a couple of days. The holiday will go away eventually, the discontent hopefully also, even thou not necessarily at the same time.
There is a general perception that Christmas is a time of love and joy, so if some people do not feel loving (or loveable), joyful or energetic, then why pretend that they are, just for the sake of family and friends? On the other hand, why spoil others’ joyfulness and happiness with their presence?
I am not going to argue with such a Christmas approach, because each person is different and no one can ever really feel another’s pain or live another’s live in their stead. What I am going to do is wish them all the best on those holidays, just the same as I wish to any traditional Christmas-spirited joyful soul, who is probably still running around, buying last-minute presents, preparing delicious food, hugging & kissing around.
Well… I am not going to argue, but I am going to tell them: this posting is for you people!
This year I have experienced some moments when hideaway seemed like the best answer to address the blurry vision of the future that lies ahead. We are living historical times and it is not necessarily a good thing. It is also not necessarily a bad thing. And in this general context, some of us are facing personal changes. It is only natural that when the whole world questions us, we start also questioning ourselves. Are we in the right place, doing the right thing, choosing the right path, building the right future? Could anyone answer that for us?
Sometimes those questions have answers which we just do not want to see. Or we see but do not accept. We take pride in being free in taking our own decisions. However huge part of the changes in our life is not triggered by own decisions, but actually is a result of external factors and other people decisions. We can call that ‘fate’ or ‘luck’ (good or bad), we can blame it on the external decision-makers or on ourselves. Still none of those excuses or blame-games would change anything in the present. The sooner we realize and accept that, the faster we will get ahead living the next stage of our life. We must direct our energies ahead, start exercising again the freedom of choice and rediscover our own-decision-making-mechanism from this point onward.
What does this have to do with lonely Christmas time? I think a lot. Lonely holiday is nothing else than long time for thinking. As you do not play and hug and eat and share stories and plans with others, you will of course sit and do mostly the same by and with yourself. And the direction in which you explore (past or future) will actually shape the post-holiday period that will come after that.
Do not lie to yourself even if you plan a noisy family Christmas – if you recognize your state of mind in a part of the above description, it may very well mean that you plan to enjoy your loneliness in the middle of a noisy funny family Christmas reunion. And you’d better snap quickly out of it or sleep it over before Santa comes.
I wish you all a warm and rewarding Christmas!
May 2012 bring some hopes back into our future or… some future back into our hopes!
Hugs & kisses,