Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Sue Ellen Principle and the Kaltwasser Doctrine

Sweet days of technological glory when I was working in Ramnicu Valcea, now Hackersville!.

We, industrial researchers from the socialist countries were not allowed to participate at scientific congresses and to discuss with our capitalist colleagues, who, we were told, will try to steal our inventions and know-how. And to speak badly about our Great Leader.
However the CMEA (Council of Mutual Economic Assistance) have organized a kind of working groups specialized  in the research areas of, say, strategic interest, I have represented Romania
in the group dedicated to Polyvinyl Chloride between 1977 and 1982. I knew there many really good researchers from Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Bulgaria, the Soviet Union; however Dr Hans Kaltwasser from the Deutsche Demokratische Republik became fast my best friend. I look at the Web and Hans is missing except in my own writings from Info Kappa- but this is very injust- he was a great scientist, an extraordinarily dynamic person and a man of culture- e.g. he had the greatest personal Johann Sebastian Bach collection- books and vinyl discs in his country. We both were Alpha personalities (all bisinisenecephalians are so, I know it from a recent report), and perfect skeptics regarding the idea of socialism. And it happened that we were the best drinkers in the group. Such groups of rather unhappy persons coming from very unhappy countries, usually work on the system of 8 to 9,9 to 2 i.e hard work from 8 in the morning to 9 in the evening and the drinking up to 2 in the night. Great supplies of Barackpalinka from the Hungarians, Pliska from Bulgaria, the Polish Vodka Wyborowa, Ararat cognac from the Russians; Hans came with some special Geists -spirits distilled from forest fruits, very "distilled". The all time winner was my 56+ degrees Tzuica- an unique sort of Plum brandy- you must love it (in moderate quantities only when you are over 50).

These unforgettable parties have led us (Hans and me, humans with rather encrypted modesty)- to discover what I call now "The SUE-ELLEN principle: Resistance to alcohol is directly proportional to the degree of intelligence. " 
Sue Ellen was the alcoholic and not very smart wife of the evil capitalist J.R. from the soap opera Dalllas the only one we could watch in Romania during the  80 's. The Sue-Ellen principle is an approach of the negative side, if you are not smart, alcohol easily makes you KO. Seen from the positive side perhaps Winston Churchill principle would be a better name. Anyway the human being with the highest resistance to alcohol I ever met was a Russiam academician very famous theoretical physicist who drank one and a half liters of my Tzuika without any visible consequences. I met him at Minsk at a cold fusion energy meeting organized by my Mormon friend Hal Fox see please my paper.

I have no idea what say medicine, psychology, anthropology and old barmen about the Sue Ellen principle, I take regularly medication against hypertension and this destroys any kind of resistance. Poor Hans is even in a worse situation he has died (stomach cancer) before the Berlin Wall has fallen
and could not meet his 4 brothers living in the Bundesrepublik.

But when he has stated his Principle of historical importance, he was still very much alive and alert. It happened at Ramnicu Valcea the town I presented  today. We were sitting somewhere in a small hotel room, two young colleagues, one German,one Romanian, already drunken and sleeping, we were further testing our anti-Sue-Ellen. abilities. successfully.
And then Hans stated solemnly: |"Peter, wir alle wissen schon das Sozialismus ist Scheisse." From technical reasons  (I don't dare to compete with Google Translate) I will not translate this, it was a negative compliment made to socialism. it was true and became ever more true.

This was many years ago, and our form of socialism went down the sewer of history as predicted by Hans.

Times have changed, in surprisingly many directions.
A very disturbing problem is this: was the Kaltwasser Principle strictly limited to socialism?
Thinking about the Crisis, I have some serious doubts regarding this limitation and I wonder if
Kapitalismus is totally out the action of this principle?


  1. Ha! Ha!
    Not at all, for sure! Look around and you can get prove of that.

  2. Yes,painfully true, dear Gabi!
    However the the great trouble is that "around" is
    not limited to "proximity"

  3. lol
    Absolutely no limitations.
    Must share a story with you. It is partly checked against facts. The details are probably a little enhanced.
    I was told the story by Arne Bergstrom coach, for the swedish speedway team Vargarna. Speedway is a big sport in Russia also. Visiting Russia was always complicated and took time and preparation. Once in Siberia Arne the coach had befriended a Russian Marschalk (forgotten his name). The Marschalk suggested that they should have a drink later that evening. Arne was not an experienced drinker. He asked a cleaning lady what the Marschalk meant with 'having drinks'. The lady said the Marschalk looked upon drinking as a sport to see whom could hold the most (typical in my opinion). The lady said to drink a liter of heavy cream and then meet the Marschalk for drinks. Arne said he drank the Marschalk under the table. After that he had never a problem to enter Russia with the team or solo. He just contacted the Marschalk at the border and he was in. Of course Arne was sick for a week but . . .
    I have been waiting hours for border crossing so I can see the advantage.
    BTW Arne was an intelligent guy:)

    1. Thanks, dear Lennart! Good story and realistic.
      I have met in Russia professor of physics who drank 1 liter of my best 54-56% tzuika and did not get drunk. Shining intelligence and very nice speaking well English and German.


    2. Thanks, dear Lennart! Good story and realistic.
      I have met in Russia professor of physics who drank 1 liter of my best 54-56% tzuika and did not get drunk. Shining intelligence and very nice speaking well English and German.