Life

Last week I posted a short Romanian update on my blog, and called it “life”. It has nothing to do with this one, even thou the title is the same. I do not feel much value added in translating from one language to the other, as a lot would be lost in translation.

I had some feed-back and I found myself promising to someone that I would come back with a more realistic view of life. That is because the post (like most of my writings) was optimistic, positive and (several people found it) even motivational. For me it is understandable - the writings are of course highly subjective and reflect my personality. Some call me a dreamer, others know me better. In my daily life I am told that I come across as a rather down-to-earth, practical person, well organized and result-oriented. Sometimes I am perceived as inspirational, other times as confrontational, sometimes as romantic, other times as clear-headed, sometimes as empathic and other times as hard on people.

One question could be: am I so many different spirits in only one body? God, I sure hope not! Again, those who know me can easily discard such an option. There are amongst my friends people that I used to work with. I have also encountered in my life the other situation – friends that I decided at a certain point to work with. Under both circumstances they told me that I am the same person, under different lights. Context and counter-party can influence my behavior.

I do not believe that too much positive thinking and motivational messages are good for someone’s development. If we are not able to see both sides of the coin (and sometimes even inside the coin!), understand the world around us and weight as fair as possible the difficulties we are facing, then we will never come up with solutions, will not learn and will not progress. Spiritual growth does not come from books, experience cannot be replaced by study. My favorite ywo definitions are: 'Experience is a wonderful thing, it helps you recognize a mistake when you make it again' and 'Budget - a scientific way to waste money' (this is also septoe!).

Reading my old writings after quite a long time (let’s say years) I can re-discover my own conclusions. An old Romanian proverb says ‘Do as the priest says, don’t do as the priest does’. I encounter rather philosophical conclusions and motivational phrases, politically correct solutions that I myself do not apply on regular basis in my day-to-day life. The reason for ignoring my own teachings is usually because my heart and my head don’t always get along. The competition is really tight and they both win some and loose some. My mother used to tell me that I should let my heart win more often. I am still working on that.

So, what am I trying to share with you tonight? Positive thinking is great, but this is all it is – thinking. You don’t have time to think when you need to react. There is a joke (or word of wisdom?...) saying that God gave men two important organs – the brain and the other; but not enough blood to operate both at the same time. I believe this is true for man’s better half also, the fight over blood being actually between the head and the heart. Let’s generalize – between reasoning and feeling.

So…
… Whenever both your stomach and your wallet are empty...
... Whenever a colleague is getting on your nerves and your work (in case you have one) is not appreciated…
…. Whenever the kids are crying no matter what you do, there is no hot dinner on the table, the dust is piling up and the garbage smells (all because you always get home too late!), and your partner is waiting for you with a smile on the face and expecting you to be romantic and warm…
… Whenever you wait for hours in a hospital hall for a diagnosis or for somebody dear to you to get safe out of an operation room…
… Whenever you sit on an airport waiting for the weather to change…
… Whenever you wait for a call that doesn’t come or run after a bus that closes the door in your face…
… Whenever you find a note instead of a partner when you return home…
… and so on…
... then…
… the only thing I can advise is – do whatever you feel, as long as it doesn’t put you in hell (on the other side) or in jail (on this side)!
(disclaimer: if you are already in hell or jail I am really not qualified to offer advise any longer, sorry!).

I know that the world is far from being perfect, and that lately it has become even hard to live in. But I also know that I could be spared of all this negative perception of things - if only I stopped thinking. I was taught in school that we are the only intelligent beings (well, with several exceptions, and we have no idea what their dramas feel like). It means that one alternative for this bad and ugly world would be to be a butterfly or a cat or a tree – presumably happy with my feelings and zero thoughts.

Of course it would be the same bad and ugly world, but I would not realise that... I believe I would experience fear and love, sun-burn and wind, rain and snow, birth and dying. But I would not have the mortgage, medical care, pension fund and government debt and telephone bill to bother about. I would not need to compute family budget and read loan contracts, nor to sue my neighbor for flooding me, accuse my colleagues of stealing my ideas or deal with their unnecessary intrigues. I would not experience post-partum depression or middle-age crisis. Or global crisis altogether. None of these would be on my mind if I would only be a nice puffy tarantula or a perfectly shaped giraffe with no need for dieting.

And then I ask myself: if I was given a choice, what would I choose to be? Quick answer: that is such a stupid question!

So, my dear readers. Again lot of words with no conclusion other than we are - here and now. Give in sometimes but don’t give up, alternate freely when to love and when to hate your life; but most of all, please make sure you do not die before living it to the end!

Georgina Popescu