WORRIES

Motto: The past is the future which already happened
Georgina Popescu


One thing I love about my closest friends is that they always prove to know things about me which are obviously true, no matter how much I believe that I manage to keep them locked and hidden deep inside my soul. Whenever I hear them saying those things to me, it reminds me of my childhood, getting caught snooping around in a special place where my parents used to hide the "goodies". Usually my mother somehow knew when I was checking on the 'treasure place', and she always had a special smile when looking away, allowing me to save face...

I knew where delightful surprises were hidden and liked to check on them regularly. I would just take them out, make sure of their integrity and put them back. I knew that I could not subtract and eat any of them until they were officially and lovingly given to me. Still, the knowledge of them being stashed in a safe place, as well as the anticipation of the moment when they will be given to me, always gave me comfort and a sense of security. The reward was safely deposited within my reach, all I had to do is have patience and behave properly, in order to gain access to the goodies when the time was right.

What my friends have revealed to me recently is that fear is a natural part of someone's life - mine in particular was the topic. I often think of myself as being rather fearless, as I do not have a problem with tackling conflict and getting to the root of what I believe is truthfull and reasonable to tackle.

What came as a surprise to me was however the understading that I tend to put my worries to silence exactly by this active way of approaching problems heads on. I believe the idea that 'the best cure is prevention' is familiar to most people. I seem to live by this phrase, respectively feel a need to asses potential future problems in order to address them before they actually pop up. Sometime this translates into literally preventing the future to happen, whenever I believe a bad turn is about to hit. However it may happen that bad things need to be allowed for a while, just as an intermediary way towards improvement. Therefore, one may also stop nice things from coming true in the process of preventing bad things to happen.

I am definitely not alone with this dillema. This is a basic survival and self-protection instinct, but this does not mean that change cannot be triggered in one's life. Would it be a better way to live? Accept the worries and just alternate the reaction to them? Sometimes act and prevent, other times react and correct, and others just ignore and go on with the flow.

I have no answer for you tonight. Worries are natural, therefore we should welcome them in our life, just as we welcome hunger, thirst, nervousness or hope. Worries are a mix between state of mind, soul and stomach, helping us staying aware of how smallish is the part we play in the general order of our universe.

Our future is becoming our past, with every present moment which we experience. And thus our worries, hopes, dreams and fears are gradually turning into feelings, events and reactions, and then become experience, with a reasonable mix of nice memories and regrets. Those become then the basis for our new worries, hopes, dreams and fears and so on ... It seems that we keep on experiencing similar challenges until we find a way to turn regrets into memories and fears into hopes.

Let's look upon the future with a mix of worry, anticipation and faith in our ability to deal with whatever tomorrow will bring, either by ourselves or together with our true friends.

Let's learn to appreciate our past, love our present and welcome our future! Every day.

Georgina Popescu